The document is a business
introductory letter. The letter is written by a Senior Contracting Specialist for ACME Widgets, Inc. who intends to inform ABC Enterprise of their
products. ACME Widgets, Inc. is an organization that produces widgets and would
like to distribute to ABC Enterprise. Jim Smith, the Senior Contracting
Specialist for ACME Widgets, inc., wants to schedule a face-to-face meeting and
discuss the possibility of a business partnership between the two companies. However,
the business introductory letter fails to support its intended purpose
effectively. In the letter, Smith fails to give the details lucidly and does
not directly mention the intention of ACME Widgets, Inc. to supply widgets to
ABC Enterprises. Additionally, Smith fails to provide the contact details for ACME
Widgets, Inc. and errs when he mentions ‘Boeing’ instead of ACME Widgets, Inc. Overall,
while his intended message is insinuated, the letter fails in expressing a
clear and consice message.
The audience for the letter is Terry Williams, an
employee of ABC Enterprise. In the letter, ACME Widgets, Inc. seeks an audience
with ABC Enterprise, informing the latter of their business and a business
proposition to supply widgets. Smith also mentions Mary Jones, an ABC
Enterprise’s client, who referred him to them. The letter effectively targets
its client, clearly mentioning both the recipient and the company.
Additionally, the document also mentions the referral client, thus helping in
creating the much-needed rapport. The letter also shows the audience’s address,
indicating a high level of business interest. In the document, Smith also
expressly narrows down to the types of companies they supply widgets,
mentioning ABC Enterprise as one of them.
The format of the letter is partly appropriate for the
intended purpose. The format is formal, provides the address for the recipient,
date, and directly addresses the intended recipient. However, the document
lacks the sender’s address and contact details. Given that the contact details
are missing, it will be impossible for the recipient to contact the sender. The
document does not contain factual information and is not written in a concise
and clear manner. The document has a number of grammatical errors which impedes
a clear understanding of the intended message. Further, the sender mentions a
different company as the sender, signaling recklessness, carelessness, and lack
of preparedness. The mention that the widgets produced by ACME Widgets, inc.
are the best in the world is an opinion and does not qualify to be factual.
From an overall perspective, this letter is
ineffective and fails to communicate the intended message with efficacy. The
document fails to meet the minimum criteria in professional writing
characteristics. According to Mizrahi (2015),
some of the most critical aspects of professional writing include accuracy,
clarity, conciseness, and correctness. This document displays
inaccuracies, lacks clarity and conciseness, and has several grammatical
errors. The mention of Boeing instead of ACME Widgets, Inc. indicates a high level of unpreparedness
and carelessness. If I were to rewrite this letter, I would start by
proofreading and correcting all grammatical errors. I would also correct all
the inaccuracies and inconsistencies expressed by the send. I would also update
the format by adding the sender’s address and contacts. Making these corrections would ensure the
letter is professional, is conversational, and communicates the intended
message in a clear and concise manner.
References
Mizrahi,
J. (2015). Writing for the workplace: Business communication for
professionals. Business Expert Press.
